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Posted: March 19th, 2022
July had finally come – my faith was concealed in a small white envelope. A few months earlier I had spilled weeks worth of arduous Advanced Placement objectives onto a few sheets of blank paper. In my mind I deemed my essays of being level five worthy, but I was still unconvinced. As I darted to the mailbox I began to feel a slight vibration in my hand; it was my cell phone. My friends had texted me their test scores; hence, I was sure I had scored the same or better! While I began to reach hesitantly into the postbox, I realized either I was about to bask in the elation of victory or anguish the long hard months I had spent preparing.
Failure is the antagonist in my novel called “Life”, but on this day I refused to accept even the thought of my having blundered this test. I began to unravel the envelope bit by bit until I was able to tug out the enclosed paper.
Then it happened, as I surveyed the paper I realized I had not made the satisfactory score I had hoped for; furthermore, I had not even scored a basic three on the exam! My eyes scanned the paper in disbelief as tears of despair rolled down my balmy cheeks. I raced back into the house to the confides of my room and began to search the internet for quotes about failure. I stumbled upon this quote by Winston Churchill and because of Churchill’s brilliant quote my life will by no means be the same: “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
What is success? I have asked myself this simple question on more than one occasion. Webster’s dictionary defines success as: “The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.” If Webster’s definitions are credible, which they usually are, then that definition confirms the fact that I had failed. Most people are fearful of death, spiders, or math; however, I am different. To me, failure is worst than death and on that day I had died. I spent many months vigorously preparing myself for the beastly AP English exam, yet I did not tame it.
During my defeat, I could relate to Winston Churchill’s sense of letdown after Hitler dominated most of Western Europe. Just as Churchill facilitated Great Britain’s victory over the Nazis, I had to battle my inner conflict. At my moment of disillusionment, failure was Hitler and I was Winston Churchill; thus, I became the general of my army against pessimistic pondering. Over the years I have worked to assemble my militia of metaphysical optimism. Eventually I would battle my way through no man’s land to prevail over my adversary: Failure.
Prior to my disappointment, success had always meant achieving the best possible outcome, but as I began to trudge my way onto the other side of the battlefield, my view on life changed. To me, success became more than just a letter in the grade book or commendation from an esteemed university. Success became more than a noun, it became a fixation of my inner intellect that grew and evolved just as I did. Because of my failure my horizons on life were broadened. I became conscious of the fact that if one never fails, one never truly learns. On my personal V.E. Day, I had truly learned something special: “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
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