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Posted: June 17th, 2022
Improve your paragraphs by varying the complexity of your sentences
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In this module you will: learn about how to revise your argument through re-outlining, learn how to improve your paragraphs by varying the complexity of your sentences, learn how to eliminate wordiness review where the passive voice is appropriate, reflect on your word choice practise proofreading your text for punctuation. |
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Module 15: Revising academic writing
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Many students think of writing as a process that ends when they take the last sheet of paper out of the printer. This is not entirely true. Good writers make thorough, and, when necessary, radical revisions. There are three steps to be carried when revising your paper: Reoutlining, that is re-examining the structure of your argumentRe-examining thestyle of your prose Proofreading, that is checking the check the correctness of your paper |
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2b Reoutlining |
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ReoutliningYou may have begun your project with an outline. Re-outlining, that is, writing an outline on the basis of what you have written, helps you see if you have achieved your goal. Compare your two outlines, and ask yourself the following questions: Have I made the thesis or focus clear? Are the ideas and details arranged in the most effective order? Have I divided the text into appropriate segments? Have I made clear the connections between the segments? Do I use appropriate cohesive markers to relay the connection of thoughts? Do I have sufficient support, sufficient evidence for my assertions? Do I have any irrelevant information? Do I need to rewrite my introduction or conclusion? |
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2c – Removing tangents |
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Removing tangentsEvery sentence in your paper should advance your argument, whether by presenting your thesis, introducing subsidiary points, explaining logical relationships between points, presenting and explaining textual evidence, or drawing conclusions. In other words, if you elaborate on an interesting idea, which does not, however, directly advance your argument, you are going off on a tangent. Tangents may be acceptable in some forms of informal writing, e.g. letters, but they are inacceptable in academic English. Here, arguments have to be linear. Anything else is a filler and should be removed. For example, in a paper on Shakespeare’s imagery, you would not include biographical information about his family, unless this information is directly and clearly related to your argument about Shakespeare’s imagery. |
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3 Removing tangents |
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Click on “Read Text” to view the results of a history student’s re-outlining of a paper on the origins of the World War One. Then, decide which entries below are tangents to the student’s thesis. |
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[C] Plato’s political theories [] Bank failures in Germany [] French democracy vs German autocracy [C] Economic repercussions of World War I [] Naval race between Great Britain and German [C] Pre-War European Art |
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Outline:
History dissertation proposal – The Origins of World War I
I Introduction
Thesis: World War I was started by a number of factors which had their origin in the natural rivalries between the European countries
II Economic rivalries
A. Grain tariffs in Germany and France
B. Economic repercussions of World War One
III Political rivalries
A. French Democracy vs German autocracy
B. Plato’s political theories
IV Military rivalries
A. The “naval race” between Great Britain and Germany
B. Triple Entente vs. Triple Alliance
V Pre-War European Art
A. Impressionism
B. Expressionism
VI Conclusion – war was inevitable
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4a – Re-examining at the sentence level |
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The overall structure of your paper is very important. So, too, is the organization at the sentence level. As you become an experienced writer, the more you will develop your own prose style, your own distinctive patterns of sentence length and structure. While you are developing your style, remember that there are two bad habits to watch out for: Too many simple subject-verb-object sentences in a row |
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