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Posted: July 1st, 2022

Building and Maintaining Relationships

‼️‼️‼️‼️Please follow the below instructions
‼️‼️‼️‼️Please make sure you have followed (Especially citations, bold parts, and paragraphs, the way that my instructor asked)

‼️How to Write your Paper‼️ First, take a look at this sample paper.
• You will type a 500+ word paper.
• Follow these steps:
o Select one concept from a chapter a current or previous module that we are currently working on this week.
o Select one media source: TV show or film, book, song, etc., where the characters or situation depicts the concept.
o Write your paper in this paragraph format:
 Paragraph 1: Outline the paper by writing a topic sentence for each paragraph. See the sample paper (Links to an external site.) for an example.
 Paragraph 2: Only discuss the concept. Discuss the basic parts of the concept and cite the module or textbook at the end of this paragraph.
 Cite the textbook or module only in-text: (Last name(s), year) at the end of the second paragraph.
 Paragraph 3: Only discuss a media example. Discuss the characters and the scene or situation.
 Cite the media in-text at the end of the third paragraph.
 Paragraph 4: Apply the concept to the media. Your application must accurately depict the concept, in detail. Explain how the concept is shown in the media that you choose.
 Paragraph 5: You may either: Explain what your takeaway, what learned from applying this concept to your experience, or criticize the limitations of the concept, or write about ways you can better understand this application.
• You must your paper in the form of a Microsoft Word document, .doc or .docx.
• SCC students get Microsoft 365 for free. (Links to an external site.)
Paper Formatting
• Bold the concepts that you are applying in paragraphs 2 and 4.
• The font should be Times New Roman and 12-point font
• Double-spaced
• 1-inch margins
• Start writing your paper at the top of the first page.
• Papers must be at least 500+ words. Points are lost for incomplete word count or page length.
• No spacing gaps in-between the header and the first sentence, in-between paragraphs, or pages.
APA Citations
• Citations are not included in the 500-word count minimum.
• You must cite the module or textbook and the media example in APA format, in-text, and on a References page.
• The in-text citations and Reference page must be in APA format.
• Here is a website where you can generate APA citations and get detailed instructions on how to cite properly. (Links to an external site.)

Plagiarism
• Do not attempt to copy and paste sentences from websites like Course Hero or Quizlet.
• Your papers go through Turnitin, which is database that will notify me if you took sentences from another source.
• Students who plagiarize will be reported to the college and may be dropped from the course.

Paper Rubric, 2022
Criteria Ratings Points
Paper formatting
All of the formatting requirements were met.
/ 10 pts
Paragraphs
All of the paragraph requirements were met.
/ 10 pts
Citations
All of the APA in-text and Reference page citation requirements were met.
All many APA in-text or Reference page citations are missing or there is no References page. / 10 pts
Application

The application in the 4th paragraph is explicitly explained and accurate to the concept.

Module 6- Professor: Mr. Castellanos

**** Building and Maintaining Relationships ****

*Why Relationships Matter:

Relationships
Although it may be tempting, often, to isolate yourself from the burden of having to deal with people and the uncomfortable situations that occur with making new friends, research suggests that putting in the work to develop and maintain relationships is an investment worth making.
People need relationships. We all may not be skilled at developing and maintaining relationships, but we all have a humanistic need for them. The Need to Belong theory suggests that we are all born with a drive to seek and maintain strong relationships. If not only for survival, the motivation to be close to people produces a sense of belonging that fulfills our desire to be part of a social community.
Rewards
Relationships provide rewards for us in the form of emotional support, material benefits, and health improvement. Positive and emotionally supportive relationships provide the support we need to get through tough times in our lives. Research shows that the more strong relationships we have, the happier we tend to be.
We may take these relationships for granted, but parents and/or close relatives have provided us the material means to live comfortably with housing, clothes, food, etc. Without them, the likelihood of homelessness or destitution increases. Additionally, the cost of living can be much more affordable with a roommate or spouse to split the bills with.
Strong, positive, personal relationships scientifically correlate with improved health. Internationally, people who have the most strong relationships tend to have longer, healthier, lives. Especially as we age, having people that care about you, check-in on you, and make sure your needs are met, significantly increases your health.

*The Nature of Personal Relationships

Dialectical Tensions
Dialectical tensions, otherwise known as Relational Dialectics Theory, explains that every close relationship will experience three competing needs.
Autonomy vs. connection
• Autonomy is the need to have independence in the relationship. Some people feel comfortable with more independence than you’d prefer. Don’t be alarmed, this need comes from the desire to maintain personal identity, and is not an automatic indicator that the other person is less interested in a relationship.
• Connection is the need to feel close in a relationship. Some people satisfy closeness with shared activities, tasks, or experiences. No two people are perfectly like. You will have these tensions with your close friends and partners. It’s normal to want more or less independence, or interdependence, than the other person.
Openness vs. closedness
• Openness is the desire to share and receive personal information, otherwise known as self-disclosure. Often you may find yourself in a predicament that compels you to keep secret information you feel is private. However, a close friend, or partner, may expect you to self-disclose this information. There are a couple of strategies to momentarily avoid self-disclosing information you’d rather not: change the subject, be ambiguous, or be honest and tell him/her you don’t feel comfortable discussing that topic.
• Closedness is quite the opposite. You may think that you’re an open book until a close friend asks you a question that may reveal something embarrassing about yourself, all of a sudden you don’t feel like being open about particular information. It’s normal to have this situation occur. It’s easier to see ourselves as somewhere in-between than assume we are always either an open book or a private person.
Predictability vs. novelty
• Predictability is the need to experience routine. There is comfort in a routine because you know what to expect. One common conflict topic is, “Where should we eat?” There is always one person who wants to try a new place, while someone else rather go with a tried and true spot that serves his or her favorite burger. You’re not arguing about food, you’re really arguing about the need to either predict what you will get over the need to experience new things.
• Novelty is the need to experience new things. Continuing with the where should we eat example, people who like to try new and different foods often are called Foodies. It sounds fun and interesting, but be aware that, although many people may also love the food you’re suggesting, they may not like the idea of trying food that may not taste good to them. It’s like a game of risk for some people. The real issue is that they cannot predict if they will have a good experience eating that food.

* Forming and Maintaining Social Bonds

Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT)
Stranger danger! Well, strangers are not actually dangerous, but we behave as though they are. URT suggests that the problem isn’t that we don’t like strangers, what we really have is a problem with the uncertainty or the unpredictable nature of not knowing what to expect from them. This phenomenon is so powerful that, even if we are not too fond of the people that we do know, we still prefer them over a stranger. If you like this concept, please refer to this article for more information on URT.

* Social Exchange Theory

Social Exchange Theory (SET)
Social Exchange theory explains that costs and rewards are present in all relationships and they influence our motivation for us to stay in or leave, relationships. We invest in our relationships when we put in things like money, time, effort, etc. When we do not like something, or if the relationship is taking away from us, we perceive it as a cost, e.g. spent money, wasted time, discomfort, stress, etc.
Imagine you have a long-distance relationship and your friend does not drive. You are the only one driving to go see him or her. When you get there, you will also be driving both of you around. You may perceive driving as a cost to being in that relationship.
In another scenario, you may have a friend whose parent works for a professional sports team. This friend often invites you to games for free and you have a great time. For you, free sports games are a reward for this particular relationship.
Social exchange theory suggests that we weigh these costs and rewards. Keep in mind, costs and rewards are not always equal to each other. We can’t always equally compare a reward like emotional support to a cost like a friend’s annoying bad habits.
We like staying in relationships that have either equal costs to rewards. But, when costs exceed rewards, we start thinking about leaving a relationship. Our decision to stay or leave a relationship is influenced by two factors: comparison level and comparison level of alternatives.
Comparison level is what you expect from this relationship. If most of your relationships have been positive, and your friends provide for you great emotional support, you may expect the same from new relationships. Just as likely, you may have experience with difficult relationships, and now you expect your new one to be similar.
Comparison level of alternatives is what you expect your life to be like if you left that relationship. If you expect that not having a particular friend would make your life better, you might leave. If this is your only friend you might feel stuck and hold onto that relationship because you feel like having no friends is worse than having a bad friend.
Here is a great article that you can use to Help you with using this concept for one of our papers.

* Stage of Relationship Development

Relationship Formation
Researcher Mark Knapp posits that relationships move in stages when forming, and when ending. You may think of any type of relationship when considering these stages.
The Stages of Relationship Formation
• Initiating is the stage you begin communicating. At this stage, you may exchange information and self-disclose surface-level stuff like your name and other identifying information.
• Experimenting is the stage where you increase self-disclosure and learn more about his or her idiosyncrasies, what you like and don’t like. This is the stage where you decide if you have enough in common to possibly move toward a relationship. You are still acquaintances at this stage.
• Intensifying is the stage where you self-disclose deeper personal information, and spend enough time together where friendship develops. You may start to plan to do things together and begin building commitments.
• Integrating is where you begin to think of each other as interdependent. You may not want to go places without him/her or feel as though something is missing when he or she is gone too long. You may call each other BFFs, or begin to consider a serious romantic relationship with this person.
• Bonding is when you change your Facebook status to in a relationship. Well, not always, but think of it on the same level. Close non-romantic relationships might use terms like brother or sister, rather than a best friend, to symbolize the dedication and closeness of that relationship.
The Stages of Relationship Dissolution
Unfortunately, relationships do not last forever and tend to unravel sequentially.
• Differentiating is the stage where differences, you once thought interesting, begin to feel like barriers or reasons you should not be so close anymore. You may have a relationship with someone who has different religious beliefs than you. At first, it was fun to have discussions and little arguments about your opinions, but as he or she makes life choices that interfere with your relationship, you may see this difference as a reason to not be friends anymore.
• Circumscribing is when those differences cause too many arguments and you start to avoid conflict by spending time apart from that person. Or, if you do spend time together, you may avoid topics that lead to arguments or fighting.
• Stagnating is when you are no longer happy with the way things are not progressing. We often feel like a relationship is supposed to progressively get better and better, which does not always happen. In this case, it’s going nowhere, and you’re not interested in it anymore. You’re not completely done with it, but you have started to just go with the flow and put less effort into it.
• Avoiding is when you have decided that it is ending soon. You create both emotional and physical distance. This was once the person you wanted to talk to immediately after work or school about your day, now you don’t have much to say to him or her, and you’re not too interested in keeping the relationship alive. You also begin to stop hanging out and keeping yourself busy with other things, or other people.
• Terminating is when the relationship is officially over. If this was a roommate, you have moved out. If this was romantic, you have changed your online relationship status. If this was a best friend, you stopped calling them bestie, and most likely stopped talking to them altogether. This is the official end to what once was a relationship you thought would last.

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