Bedroom Floor

“Alyssa? Can I please come in? Please? I’m scared. Please?”

I hear my eight-year-old brother whisper under the door as I remove the pillow from over my ears.

“Yeah, come in, and close the door quietly.”

He scampers in before my parents notice he is out of his bedroom. We sit on my bedroom floor, scared, planting our feet as far from the door as we can. As time elapses, we play with what we find in my closet—as we try not to hear what’s going on.

We both jump, startled by a loud noise, and we look at each other as both of our jaws snap open. As we continue to look at each other, our faces change as the voices outside dramatically increase.

I had to keep his mind off of what was happening feet away. I didn’t know how to explain our older brother was fighting with our parents.

Then we heard our older brother stomp across the hallway and throw his TV at the wall.

As time passed, I explained how our older brother is different.

I took a deep breath as I said, “I know you’re scared, but don’t worry I am scared too. He gets mad very easily, and Mom and Dad are learning how to help him, just as we are learning how to deal with it.” I pause, gather my thoughts and continue. “We have to be strong for Mom and Dad and for ourselves, and we have to understand that he deals with anger differently than we do. It’s not in a good way, but it’s different. I don’t want you to be scared, but it is okay to be scared. My door will always be open if you feel like you need some company.”

The nervous feeling in my stomach disappeared as a smile defined his face. These are the moments that define me.

I help and support the people I love without even thinking about it. Being older and the only sister, I didn’t have to think about comforting my brother and reassuring him, it’s my nature.
Many more of these situations happened with my brother and we continued to spend time together playing with the stuff in my closet—and I began to observe our growth both as individuals and as siblings.

My little brother helped me just as much as I helped him. I became independent and gained maturity and that helped me to cope with having an older brother with severe anger.

As I continue to learn and acquire knowledge from experiences, I continue to grow. I want to make a difference in people’s lives, like my little brother has made in mine. I am motivated by my experiences to achieve the best future for myself and I am excited to use my skills to help myself and others during my time in college.